15.3.10

Poems



I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS- Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.
 

STILL I RISE

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame - I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain - I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear - I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear - I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Recovering The Old Cristal

I'm so slow at deleting my myspace accounts...I've got a lot of history on them...I just remembered I wrote a few blogs on there before...I found this blog post and it just kinda made me smile..its titled Dream Man .. I wrote it about 2 years ago following a breakup...I wrote it because I felt like relationships make me forget about what I ultimately want in a guy...I settled and I feel bad about it...This was just to remind myself of what I want and what I deserve...enjoy...and like i said...this was yrs back...it doesn't mean i'm looking...im reminiscing on my old self =) I love to see the growth in me

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My Dream Man Doesn't Exist.

And if I could describe my soul-mate, he'd have to be super tall, dark, and handsome...I love green eyes but I won't discriminate if u don't have em...I know I'm semi-shallow but who isnt...lol...he's gotta be smart, thoughtful, funny, honest, loyal, faithful, friendly..he has to get along with my friends and my parents and sisters most importantly...i would prefer to be good friends with his, but its coo if it we're not just as along as we're cordial im good...I have 2 get along with his family(can't be having no irritating in-laws lol)...he has to b a driven individual wanting 2 do big things in his life....he has 2 treat me with respect, encourages me in all of my endeavors, will never lay a hand on me, admits when he's wrong, listens 2 me when I'm talking, treats me like im his everything just as i would, love me 4 who i am + never want 2 change me, never compare me 2 his exes, never think about his exes(the past is done and over with so get over it, that's hella weak!), spoil me 4rm time 2 time with something sweet and thoughtful), when we fight or are having problems in the relationship he can't b a quitter wen da goin gets tough, he has 2 stick it through + try 2 make it work, that shows dedication + love 4 me...he has 2 be open minded + down 2 try new things with me(stubbornness 24/7 is not cute)...he has 2 love dogs, love all types of music, loves 2 travel, loves kids, etc...I'm old fashioned so he has to make the 1st move...if he really loves me Mind, Body, and Soul then he'll be da one fighting 4 me n never giving up if i give him a hard time..."patience is the greatest of all virtues"...My deadline is 11-18-2012 hardy har har!!!! jk

8.3.10

Book: I Am An Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girl's Around The World

Yesterday I bought Eve Ensler's I Am An Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girl's Around The World.
 Ensler is best known for her book The Vagina Monologues. Within less than two hours I finished the book. I could not stop reading it! All the while, people were staring at me like I was crazy; riding the bike high speed at the gym while at the same time, very calm and reading away; unaware of the people around me. If a book can do that to me, then  you know this book is good. I usually have a short attention span for books haha.

This book is such a feel-good, lift your spirits type of book. Yes, there are some sad monologues but in a way it makes me feel more united with all girls around the world. I can put myself in their shoes. I think that was the purpose of Ensler writing this book. To make women aware of kind of travesties women endure. This book is to make us aware of who we really are and to embrace it and flaunt our beautiful complex souls. YES we are/can be emotional creatures, but we shouldn't let society make us believe that its a bad thing!

I'd like to leave with you some excerpts from the book. It was hard to choose because in all seriousness, every section I adored. They're pretty long, but I really feel that you will feel much better after reading them.

 INTRODUCTION
"Dear Emotional Creature, 
You know who you are. I wrote this book because I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your intensity, your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your short skirt, or blare your music while you lip-sync every single memorized lyric. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You are one of our greatest natural resources, you Possess a necessary agency and energy that if unleashed could transform, inspire, and heal the world.

I know we make you feel stupid, as if being a teenager meant you were temporarily deranged. We have become accustomed to muting you, judging you, discounting you, asking you --- sometimes even forcing you --- to betray what you see and know and feel.

You scare us. You remind us of what we have forced to shut down or abandon in ourselves in order to fit in. You ask us by your being to question, to wake up, to reperceive. Sometimes I think we tell you we are protecting you when really we are protecting ourselves from our own feelings of self-betrayal and loss."

XXV
"This book is to call to question rather than to please. To provoke, to challenge, to dare, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To know yourself truly. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. This book is a call to listen to the voice inside you that might want something different, that hears, that knows, the way only you can hear and know. It's a call to your original girl self, to you emotional creature self, to move at your speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color. It is an invitation to heed your instinct to resist war, or draw snakes, or to speak to the stars"


MY SHORT SKIRT (pp123-125)
My short skirt
is not an invitation
a provocation
an indication
that I want it
or give it
or that I hook.

My short skirt
is not begging for it
it does not want you
to rip it off me
or pull it up or down.

My short skirt
is not a legal reason 
for raping me
although it has been before
it will not hold up
in the new court

My short skirt, believe ir or not,
has nothing to do with you

My short skirt 
is about discovering 
the power of my calvs
about cool autumn air traveling
up my inner thighs
about allowing everything I see
or pass or feel to live inside.

My short skirt is not proof
that i am stupid
or undecided
or a malleable little girl.

My short skirt is my defiance.
I will not let you make me afraid.
My short skirt is not showing off,
this is who I am 
before you made me cover it
or tone it down.
Get used to it.

My short skirt is happiness.
I can feel myself on the ground
I am here. I am hot.
My short skirt is a liberation
flag in the women's army.
I declare these streets, any streets,
my vagina's country.

My short skirt 
is turquoise water with swimming colored fish
a summer festival in the starry dark
a bird calling
a train arriving in a foreign town.
My short skirt is a wild spin
a full breath
a tango dip.
My short skirt is 
initiation, appreciation, excitation.

But mainly my short skirt
and everything under it
is mine, mine, mine


PLEASE PICK UP EVE ENSLER'S BOOK. I ASSURE YOU THIS WILL NOT BE MONEY GONE TO WASTE. 

International Womens Day

First off let me just say HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY!

I don't think many people are aware of this day because it has not really been discussed in the US. Other countries they've made it an official holiday. I wish the US did too.

Women have come a long way and I am proud of that. We may not be equal yet with men (although we should be 100%), but the fact that we're still fighting for our rights, that just shows me our undying determination.The battle for women's rights continues.

I just want all women today to embrace who they are. I want them to believe in themselves, to know that they are capable of doing anything. People might criticize us, put us down, or try to reprimand us; but never let them win. Fight for what is just!

You are beautiful creatures. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are.

LET'S CELEBRATE LIFE AND WOMANHOOD
For more information please check out the International Women's Day Website






19.2.10

Open-Mindedness

I'm taking a humanities/environmental studies class on Culture and Nature this semester. I love this class! It really opens your mind to new things and you are able to think more critically about everyday things. Anyhow, my awesome professor always gives us extra "FYI" pieces on our online discussion board. Last night he sent us this video about open-mindedness. Although this deals with the open-mindedness with the supernatural, his explanation is so good, it can be applied in other situations as well.

Please take a look at this video. I hope maybe you will be learn about yourself and be more conscious about what you do or say when placed in situations typical to this.

Why Aren't You With Someone?

Everywhere I go, all I hear are people talking about coupling up and wanting a significant other in their life. Then they always turn to me and ask "why are you not dating or with someone?" Grrr it annoys me. After being asked that like hella times, you would be to.
Let me tell you some of the most common things people tell me when I say I'm not interested in dating right now:
  1. You must've gotten your heartbroken
  2. You're never going to find love
  3. You're going to be lonely for the rest of your life
  4. You'll never be happy
I think people fail to realize that I AM NOT LIKE THEM
We are all in different stages in our life. We all have different priorities. Just because I don't care to be in a relationship right now does not mean I am doomed to be single for the rest of my life (that's not a bad thing either) and without any companionship. And who says I have to get married?!

Let me put it out there:

I haven't been heartbroken before because I've never been in love before. A little bruising, for sure, but I think it was mainly my ego that got hurt. I got over these little bumps in the road. Its nothing. The failed relationships with guys have not made me give up on all men. I'm sure there are good guys out there, but I just don't want ANY guy right now ;)

Also, the whole thing about me being lonely and never falling in love is ridiculous. People have it in their heads that if they're not with someone when they reach a certain age, they're destined to be "old spinsters" or "bachelors for life" I am not in a hurry to find someone and settle down. I have full confidence in nature that I will eventually find my soul mate. I am certain in fate and destiny that I do not feel the need to "search" for love; love will find me. It may not come now, but it will when I am ready, free, and able to give my heart to someone. "Good things come to those who wait" right? Right!{FYI...my friend told me some dude said this about me when she told him he didn't have a chance with me. Can someone say, hatin-ass, bitter fool? ^_^ hehehe I laughed when I heard this. It just shows you how one is so quick to knock down a person just because they weren't accepted by them. GROW UP. A real man would've just accepted the fact that I'm not interested and continued on with his day/life/whatever}.

The idea that I will not be happy if I am not with someone makes me wanna shake everyone who says that to me! >( I believe that happiness first starts with yourself.  Relationships contribute to your already existing happiness (totally sounds stupid but bare with me hehe). I don't depend on a man to bring joy into my life. My happiness does not lie in the hands of the opposite sex. I am content with who I am, what I do, my accomplishments, and the people already in my life. I enjoy myself as a single gal and as a taken gal; I am happy in every state.

My main concerns right now are my education, my work, my family/friends & myself. I don't have extra time to give to anyone else at this chapter in my life; call me selfish. I don't see that fitting with my life right now. I have things that I want to accomplish first and I don't want to feel like someone is holding me back. Then there will be feelings of resentment if I hold off on my life for this person. I don't want to resent anyone. I don't want to worry or  take into consideration another persons feelings right now. Its unfair to them  and unfair to myself.

Bottom line: although I have the capacity to be a dope ass gf, I just can't offer that to anyone right now because I have other priorities. Its better I stay single to focus on myself and my goals in life. Perhaps in the future I will settle down and fall in love with my soul mate. Real love will come when it is right; no worries here ^_^


18.2.10

Friendship Poetry

I found another one that totally screams "me" hehe! It basically sums up how I feel about my best friends and how much positivity they bring to my life.

Only You
With you, it's all about
voiceless communication-
always knowing exactly what to say,
but never actually having to say it.

When no one seems to be listening,
you hear.
When I hurt but don't show it,
you know.
When I turn away to hide my tears,
you see.
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone,
you understand.

Your eyes glow just for me,
and I know you're proud.
You flash your magical, healing smile my way,
and I know everything will be all right.

You know everything there is to know about me.
You know what worries me,
what keeps me up at night,
and what shames me so badly
that I can't share it with anyone.
Most importantly, though,
none of those things bother you.

You've restored my faith in people
and proved that there is a thing
called true friendship.